An Open Letter To Joe Roth

Dear Joe Roth,

I read in the Arts Section of the March 20th edition of the New York Times, that, your Gigli-inspired horror of directors' cuts remaining in full, burning effect, you are tinkering with visionary director Julie Taymor's Beatles-song musical Across the Universe, screening a whittled-down-from-Taymor's preferred-128-minutes version for test audiences. Now of course as head of Revolution Studios, which is producing the film, you are fully within your rights to do this. I think. I mean, I'm not a lawyer or anything.

Nonetheless, Mr. Roth, I implore you: Let Taymor Be Taymor.

I will admit right now that I am not speaking with the purest of hearts here...

While I'm not in the habit of forming opinions of movies based on trailers, plot synopses, hearsay, and whatnot, I can't be disingenuous about having gleaned a good deal of data which indicates that Universe could be the most hilariously misbegotten piece of cinematic kitsch to hit screens since, well, 1978's Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. And if it is, I want to be able to lap up every last drop of it.

Now of course I know that if it is, it will also be a very different kind of kitsch than what the horrific Pepper movie presented—a very high-minded, "edgy," "artistic," "experimental" kitsch as opposed to Pepper's witless cheese. (But high-minded kitsch is, for some, the most scrumptious kind.) Taymor's no hack. But projects like this have the deck stacked against them before even a foot of film is shot. First off, unless you're Comden and Green, taking a group of disparate songs and contriving a scenario around them is a mug's game. And one thing you really ought not do is contrive your scenario to retrofit characters in the songs, and...well, here. In Across the Universe Evan Rachel Wood plays a character named Lucy. Jim Sturgess is Jude. Dana Fuchs is Sadie, T.V. Carpio is Prudence, Eddie Izzard is Mr. Kite, Bono is Dr. Robert, and man, does it ever go on. There's a friggin' character named Julia in the movie, for ferk's sake. We really are not very far from Steve Martin as Dr. Maxwell Edison here after all, are we? (I know, all this will probably matter not a whit to the film's core demo, which is people who didn't grow up with Beatles' records and hence don't know why those character names make me feeel all icky in this context. But I'm not speaking for that core demo, okay?) And apparently the story is of American Lucy and British Jude finding love in the '60s, living la vie boheme in NYC, and their relationship getting strained over Jude's desire to "doodle" while "a revolution" is going on in the streets. Oh, and one of their pals goes to Nam. What a terrific use to put the Beatles' song book to: wedding Rent to Hair. What'll they think of next, scoring a circus act with the stuff? Oh, wait...

I also understand that, among other things, one of the movie's big set pieces involves a large group of businessmen in suits doing a Strohman-style briefcase dance in the middle of Sixth Avenue to the strains of "Come Together." Sound like that'll "work," right?

Now my suppositions could very well be wrong, and Across the Universe could well turn out to be a masterpiece, or so says the annoying little man sitting on my shoulder who always tells me to be nicer whenever I'm working up a good head of steam. But if that should indeed be the case, wouldn't we deserve the full-length masterpiece? Landmark work or travesty—either way, I'll have a good time. Because that's really what all this is about. Me. Having a good time.

So please, Joe Roth, put the director's cut of Across the Universe out there. 'Cause honestly, I don't think it's gonna make any money either way anyhow.

Your pal,

Glenn Kenny

Comments

[WP]

I almost feel like you're being too generous here--how many English-speaking people born in the latter part of the 20th century DIDN'T, in one way or another, grow up with the Beatles' records? It's not as if they stopped being relevant once they stopped recording. So that leaves the film's core demo as...who, exactly?

[crazysummerswithbrigitte]

As a proud French citizen, may I say to Monsieur Roth: that Legion D'Honneur rosette you covet is not getting any closer to your buttonhole.

But one question: aside from YELLOW SUBMARINE, can anyone name a movie inspired by -- not starring -- the Beatles that was any good? I can only think of two: THE HOURS AND TIMES, with Ian Hart pretending to be John Lennon, and HAVING A WILD WEEKEND, with the Dave Clark Five pretending to be the Fab Four. Any other nominees?

[cadavra]

Let's look at it this way: if the short version is released and tanks, Taymor can dump the blame on Roth's doorstep. But if her cut is released and tanks, she winds up with omelet on her face and Roth looks like a genius. This could be ve-e-ery interesting...

[Bugs Meany]

Visionary? This idea seems beneath even the Baz Luhrman treatment.

[Filmbrain]

What? No mention of All This and World War II? Stock footage of the great war set to Beatles covers -- now there's a concept! (Still, that Peter Gabriel cover of Strawberry Fields Forever is pretty cool.)

I'll admit to not being a huge fan of Taymor's work, but I'd still rather see her vision than some tinkered version overseen by the man who directed Christmas with the Kranks.