I see in this morning's Variety that Screen Gems is going to remake Lawrence Kasdan's The Big Chill, this time with an all African-American cast. Well, okay. I never muched cherished the original, which some say is naught but a bourgeoisification of John Sayles The Return of the Secaucus Seven. Of all the possible reasons to remake a movie, those based on some societal-related agenda always strike me as the least compelling; I do, however, look forward to seeing what the creators of the new version do with the original's remarkably tepid arguing-about-music scenes. (Jeff Goldblum's delivery of the words "talking heads" is perhaps the saddest moment of his acting career. He's trying to be true to his character, whose up-to-date-ness is a bit of a pose, but he's also trying to convince you, the viewer, that he, Jeff Goldblum, the actor, is genuinely up-to-date. Among other things. Ick.) Variety notes that "the redo may stick to the original's fixation on Motown classics." Why not, I guess. I imagine at least one of the characters hates hip-hop, while another passionately defends it as being of the streets, and...you know, I imagine if I just go have a nap about now, I could dream this entire remake before the budget is approved!
I doubt that anyone cried sacrilege at last week's news that MGM's prepping a remake of Brian DePalma's 1980 Dressed to Kill. But this really makes zero sense to me.
The plot, a fairly bald and nonsensical Psycho variant, is nothing to write home about. The chracters and the dialogue even less so. No, Dressed to Kill lives and dies by DePalma's bravura direction—the sequence of Angie Dickinson's pickup and murder, with a nice juicy red herring plopped right in the middle of it, is both a genuinely classic set-piece and an almost deliciously cynical bit of bad-faith dealing—and, to a lesser extent, its then-shocking-for-a-mainstream-picture sexual explicitness. Which, back in its 1980 theatrical release, outraged no less an expert than then-fledgling porn star Ron Jeremy, who said to me in conversation, "I can't believe that got an R rating! I saw that finger go in!" And I don't think I really need to point out that there's no way the makers of this remake are going to even try to replicate that latter quality. Or maybe they will, given the project is direct-to-DVD. Still. Why?
How exactly is an African-American-centric remake of The Big Chill going to work? I mean, the original was really about a group of well-off white people who participated in the Civil Rights movement in college, but when shit got real, they took off to the suburbs, taking their Motown records and nostalgia with them. Is the remake going to take place now or in 1983?
Maybe the characters will have been in college during the late '80s, right when P.E., Do the Right Thing, and the Black New Wave hit Hollywood. Who wants to take bets that the most successful African-American character will probably have a white wife? This will lead to some "hilarious" yet "truthful" cultural-clash moments. The shoallow Goldblum character can be replaced by, say, a successful TV writer who is the only African American amongst a sea of whites on an "urban" sitcom.
Is Screen Gems looking for "treatments" of this remake? I can bang this out in about an hour. Any song suggestions for the closing-moment dance number are most appreciated.
Posted by: Aaron Aradillas | June 13, 2007 at 01:14 PM
For the closing song, what sickly feel-good crapola could surpass Arthur Conley's "Sweet Soul Music"?
Back to Glenn Kenny's post: somebody really ought to publish a collection of the Sayings of Ron Jeremy . . .
Posted by: Ray MacKenzie | June 13, 2007 at 04:10 PM
"Dressed to Kill" was an ickfest for 14-year-old me. I would pay good money never to see it again, but then again, I don't have any perspective because, hey, I was 14. Also, my FATHER took me to see it. He also took me to see "Beau Pere," so it seemed kind of normal at the time. (And, oh, god, "Solaris.")
Anyway, 10 bucks says the African-American remake of "The Big Chill" will certainly find a way to stick in Kevin Costner. Who's in?
Posted by: demimonde | June 13, 2007 at 05:49 PM
Inspired by the Aradillas Challenge, I decided I could CAST this sucker in about 20 minutes, too. Here goes:
The Jeff Goldblum character: Terrence Howard as an embittered ex-New Yorker rock critic named Touray de France. His reviews have been collected in a book called NEVER DRANK THE VEUVE CLIQUOT.
Kevin Kline: Will Smith as an aspiring actor who gave up years ago and has made millions instead off a hedge-fund outfit called Bruckheimer & Oscar.
Tom Berenger: In a Bunuel move, Wesley Snipes, Laurence Fishburne, Samuel L. Jackson, and Omar Epps each play this part in different scenes.
William Hurt: Cornel West as "Spike," a paraplegic former Black Panther.
JoBeth Williams: ah, who cares?
Mary Kay Place: Norah Jones.
Meg Tilly: Condoleezza Rice, who will be looking for a job soon and has played the part of an asshole's enabler before.
Glenn Close: Eddie Murphy.
And oh,yeah -- they're all big fans of Rodgers & Hammerstein. That takes care of the soundtrack.
Posted by: addison dewitt | June 13, 2007 at 06:42 PM
Brilliant casting, Mr. Dewitt! Especially as I've been waiting years now to see Condi Rice stretch both legs behind her head.
Posted by: WP | June 13, 2007 at 07:44 PM
Yeah, but it's Screen Gems. They wouldn't pay for even one of those actors, much less all of them.
And as to "Why?"--simple. They've now remade every movie from the '70s, so now it's on to the '80s.
Posted by: cadavra | June 14, 2007 at 02:18 PM