In The Company Of Glenn

The morning after.

I should say pardon my gush, because looking over my Oscar live-blogging last night, I was a lot more excited than many of my fellow scribblers. I see James Wolcott deploring the "trivialized," "empty," and "vain" ceremony, as opposed to the deeply profound, content-packed, and self-effacing ceremonies of yore. I see that Nikki Finke, after doing such useful work on the writers' strike, has reverted to her non-stop impersonation of Helena Kallianiotes as Palm Apodaca in Five Easy Pieces. Outside, in the non-filmic blogosphere, the ultra-refined Ann Althouse pronounces the show "sucky." At least until Daniel Day-Lewis—"I love that guy!", yeah, me too—shows up.

Good gosh, there's just no pleasing some people. You give 'em pageantry and they complain that there's too much pageantry, it's too long, the pageantry is boring. You give 'em brevity and you get Finke's "This wasn't an Oscars. This was a slightly longer version of the Golden Globes." Great. You know what. I really hope they do bring Pilobolus back next year.

I did a radio tour this morning and one question I got a lot of was "What's with all these Europeans winning the acting awards?" After pointing out that this was, in fact, kind of statistical anomaly given that, with the exception of Cotillard, these were Europeans playing opposite Americans in American film, My Lovely Wife suggested an even better out...pointing out that Cary Grant was a European, David Niven was a European, Errol Flynn was from Australia, Audrey Hepburn from Belgium. That really did the trick.

So, how did you make out with your Oscar pool?

The 80th Annual Academy Awards: Hour the fourth, part un

Okay. I think we took all that as well as could be expected. Cody's speech was short enough to suggest she knew that her moment was gonna be at its inevitable end a little sooner than it might have been had she gotten too cute with it. "I'm learning from you..." Learn harder.

Best Actor. Let's do it.

I TOLD YOU I WOULD EAT YOU!!!!!

Well now we feel even better. "Diablo Cody winning isn't as bad as Crash winning Best Picture."

Now Best Director. And Mr. Scorsese will present. Awesome!! My cynicism is melting away again...

I can't keep up. But I am so stoked to see the Coens get theirs...and we move right along and this thing is gonna end earlier than it has in years and...

and the boys win. What the hell. This is very cool. Go to bed.

The 80th Annual Academy Awards: Hour the third, part deux

Cinematography, presented by C. Diaz, who invokes Murnau's Sunrise. And makes it very clear she has no idea what it is. Gak. So who's gonna get it?

Deakins? Elswit?

Holy moley, it's Elswit!

And another incredibly generous acceptance speech...

Okay, let's get beck to cynicism: "Ladies and gentlemen, two-time Academy Award winner Hillary Swank!"

At least three of the four women in the room: "Yuch."

The In Memoriam montage. Gives very specific from—to—end dates. So we don't all get really pissed that Roy Scheider's not in there. And we get pissed anyway until we remember the dates. But poor Brad Renfro...

Hey, Atonement finally got one! Wot, the score's NOT by Michael Nyman?!?!?

Wowsers, live from Iraq some soldiers give away the best doc short subject award. This will do nothing to mollify the Hollywood Hates America crowd, who won't be satisfied until Patraeus gives out Best Picture. And since Taxi to the Dark Side won Best Feature Doc...

The 80th Annual Academy Awards: Hour the third, part un

Nicole Kidman seems not to have walked the red carpet, and here she is, rather frighteningly stiff, to present the special Oscar to Robert Boyle. That cutaway to C. Diaz makes the spooky factor more resonant.

But the award for Boyle is undeniably and inarguably a good thing, man that guy did some fabulous work, and not just in the Hitchcock stuff either.

I like that shot of Harrison Ford and his illegal smile.

Here's P—Lope announcing best foreign film. Who called The Counterfeiters? Not me, for sure. Figured it would be Mongol or maybe the Wajda. But damn. I was one of the guys who lost faith in the category this year after 4 Months got snubbed. Oh boy. And here's another song from Enchanted. "Oh, fuck me," a renowned blogger in the room just said.

But it's the last of the Enchanted songs, and then the Academy gives a big screw-you to the Disney toonage machine by giving the award to the song from Once. Which is kinda fricking cool...any Frames fans out there? Any of 'em think they'd ever see Glen Hansard holding an Oscar? AWESOME. I don't think I've seen an Oscars that pleased me so much in, like, ever, and Stewart's follow-up joke was PERFECT.

The 80th Annual Academy Awards: Hour the second, part deux

It's the Cyrus. Damn is she perky.

"They realize people make fun of this," one among us wonders, genuinely confused about yet another cheese-laden production number for Alan Menken's not-finest-hour, "That's How You Know," which goes for Little Mermaid calypso lilt and delivers Carnival Cruise jingle quality. "I miss Pilobilus," My Lovely Wife cracks. By the end of the number, it's not a joke anymore.

Ah, Bourne gets the first of its two Academy Awards for categories that poor Jeff Wells doesn't understand the distinction between. I'm gonna have to sit that fellow down some time.

See, I was right. Bourne got both. I rule.

It's sad when the sound mixing guy is funnier that Seth Rogen and Jonah Hill.

"Why does Forrest Whitaker always look like he's about to cry?" Because he FEELS so deeply, people. Wow, Best Actress already, and Blanchett's reaction to her film clip is priceless...

UPSET!!!!! It's the Cotillard!!!! "Don't we hate the French?" someone asks....NOT ANYMORE. Wow. There's something really sweet about seeing someone SO excited about getting this.

I think we can safely say that the Juno menace has been thwarted.

The 80th Annual Academy Awards: Hour the second

Owen Wilson's giving out the shorts awards, and it's my second pool win, as I pick The Mozart of Pickpockets. Yay me. And here's Jerry Seinfeld in animated bee form...

"Are they gonna show My Girl?" Brian C. asks during "Bee" montage. Damn that's cold.

That Peter and the Wolf thing looks ace. Gonna have to check that out. I'm really disappointed the male co-director didn't have the puppet he brought on stage with him give the acceptance speech.

Ooh. ooh. Joe E. Ross time again. Supporting Actress! Go Cate and movie that's only made about 3 million, maybe!!!

Wow, has Ruby Dee seen American Gangster yet, 'cause it looks like not, given her reaction to the clip.

Whoa! An upset, called by my Oscar prognosticator Arion Berger...Tilda!! I love her!!! And her speech was funny too. Okay. I'm pleased.

Many have cited Harvey Weinstein's claim that he would "take a bullet" if Blanchett didn't win. I just want to come out right here and say to Harvey, buddy, I'm not holding you to it.

The 80th Annual Academy Awards: Continued.

"Notice how Amy Adams isn't whining about how nervous she is," Lovely Wife snarls, as Adams very professioally launches into "Finest Worksong" from Enchanted.

Adams has spunk. Unlike Lou Grant, I can deal with spunk.

Wow! Charles Gibson found time from Good Morning America to work on visual effects for Pirates? And the big bear flop wins for visual effects Wow, the Oscars really ARE surprising!!!

Wow! Did that visual effects dude just thank "Phil" Pullman? This isn't gonna get this crew a Compass sequel...but maybe they can work on The Hob!

The 80th Annual Academy Awards: Now it begins.

8:30 p.m. eastern time...

"Is this because of the writers' strike?" Brian C. asks of the crummy montage opening the broadcast.

And the 10-month-old in the room has just woken up. Baby's First Oscar!

Boy, how much of an ass did Reeg make of himself in the official pre-show?

Stewart kicks off with a very nice Vanity Fair dis. This is already so much slicker, focused, and overall better than Wilson's Independent Spirit monologue.

"Tommy Lee Jones is mad," my lovely wife notes. Doesn't even laugh at Stewart's wedge cut joke.

Okay, here's the first award. Jennifer Garner, having overcome the hardship of having been attacked by Gary Busey, comes out to announce...costume design? What about Best Supporting something?

Alexandra Byrne, who looks like D. Cody's great-aunt or something, gives a very short speech accepting for her work of Elizabeth: Classic Comics on Mescaline. And now...Barbra Streisand!

Liveblogging the red carpet: It shouldn't be done.

Ryan Seaquest to Tilda Swinton: "What's your name and what do you do?"

No, not really. The crowd here is really missing the acute questioning style of Stuttering John. Tilda's still rocking the '74 Bowie hair. I keep expecting her to break out in "Young Americans."

Every time they cut to a shot of Colin Ferrell and his mom, everybody in this room speaks a sentence containing the word "foockin'".

The Rock and Travolta are both wearing the same ...I dunno what to call it, an Astroturf Caesar? They do not "rock" the hairstyle.

The man to watch out for at tonight's ceremony...

Gary Busey. I just saw him on the red carpet show on E!, starring Ryan Seaquest and, someone tells me, the wife of the guy who won the first season of "The Apprentice," and Busey's on the red carpet and he just pretty much assaulted Jennifer Garner, who was less than thrilled by his attention. He's gonna be the fuel that makes this ceremony the greatest ever. Hope he's presenting...